Well the stag do weekender went well all the boys had a great time so I'm happy, they all enjoyed my partner has been showing me pictures of the night and they made me giggle it even got us talking about our wedding day and how he doesn't want a stag do but i don't see him getting away with that if his friends have anything to do with it, he's admit about it apparently he didn't have one last time and this time will be no different well see is all i can say.
I've been thinking about going half way between mine and my partners parents so that its fair and his folks won't have to far to travel down for the wedding and maybe go for dinner after the ceremony and a have a couple of drinks to celebrate but the only problem with that is there wouldn't be many friends about but we did say we wanted a small wedding so maybe thats not such a bad idea although i don't know how my mother would react to having to travel up to north wales or at least half way to go to the wedding she hates traveling or more to the point she hates having to make an effort for me but then again i don't think it would bother me if she didn't come to my wedding as she will only embarrass me in some way I'm dreading it in reality, I look up at my man on the dinning table while we chatted and had our dinner with the children and i realise just how sexy he is too me I'm so happy and lucky to have him.
Children went up to bed at seven thirty, its hard work being a mum to a seven and four year old but i enjoy every second of my time with them they make me smile they make me cry but most importantly they make me laugh, its something about the way my children look up to me hug me an tell me they love me i can't describe the feeling i have when i hear those words it means a lot to me it shows me that I'm doing something right in my life, Im praying i won't be up until four am tonight i need my sleep but I'm lucky was my partner is home and i always sleep much better when he's home and in bed with me.
Ive just fed both cats which was a chore in itself i put the food out in the bowls and mittens jumped up and knocked the food all over my living room carpet "they both get fed on there huge cat tree which is also cream the worst colour for two black boisterous kittens" there coming up to five months its crazy i found them in a black rucksack behind the train station while out walking my dog they were two out of seven kittens all died from dehydration i was so upset i worked hard for days trying to save them but i have these two now and I'm landed i managed to safe them at least i will have to figure out how to post a picture of all the animals for you soon.
I promised myself this blog would be kept a secret i won't trust anyone with it because that backed fired on me last time and i ended up having to delete years worth of work because some boy "ex" run his mouth about it and people i knew started reading all my thoughts and feelings, found out about my escorting and all i got up too and of course its how i met my partner and i wrote all about our first meeting everything it had my whole life on there so having to get rid of it hurt but the blog site closed down not long after so it must have been fate.
I spoke to my mum today and she was surprisingly nice to me and actually asked how i was when i said I'm doing better than i have been she ignored me hey ho at least she tried to be a little interested, the call didn't last long as i was making the children breakfast this morning and I've now lost my mobile phone around my house where still moving in so there is a lot of boxes and junk around the place which is a pain for trying to find anything, anywhere in this house.
I sometimes day dream what it would be like to move away from wales somewhere exciting just picking up and move away, i wonder who would miss me?, i wonder if id ever truly have the guts to truly do it but i suppose having children is the biggest issues i don't want to mess up the schooling and things which is a shame i imagine sitting in a coffee shop far away from here where it snows and the snow is knee high deep making snow angels with my children, living in a wooden farm house having animals everywhere ahh the day dreaming. But i think seriously though if i had the option of having a life like that id take it but opportunities like that don't come round everyday and i have to think of the children if i was a single id have moved have a dozen times already id have been traveling around the place as i always did enjoying each place for a few months before heading back to little old neath i have no idea why i kept going back to neath but i did.
If someone would have said id have picked up my things and moved my children to the Cardiff Vally i would have just laughed at you but here i am and for once i can say I'm a lot more care free these days I'm not looking over my shoulder hoping not to bump into anyone i know, not worrying about weather people are talking about weather they have heard the latest rumours its nice, but the down side to picking up and moving where no one knows you is that you don't have many friends and that a blessing and pardon all at the same time. I do miss having girlie shopping trips and salon days and cinema trips but i guess id not have money to do those things anymore either so hey ho. Ive got two friends up here so far and there both very different in many ways, but both lovely in there own right you have lets call here kelly for purposes of this blog kelly is mad and loud and likes a drink and normally leads me astray to the point where I'm throwing up which is a picture i just don't know how she can drink so much and still be fine gut of steal obviously i remember the days i could drink grown men under the tables and be proud of that now I'm proud I'm a lightweight its cheaper in the long run she has three children all a bit loud and wild but loving in there own right, We talk about absolute bullocks.
Then you have lets call her Miranda she's quieter and has a lovely little boy well most of the time anyway but thats children for you in many ways isn't it, we can chat most of the day away and it not get boring drinking coffee like its going out of fashion and talk clothes and shopping the usual girly stuff which is nice but she works a full time job and trying to meet up is a bit of a pain where as me and Kelly don't work so there is always time for drinks and a natter don't get me wrong i want to work but trying to get over the voices and my anxiety is hard and stops me from working i know everyones heard the same lot of excuses but hey i know what its like living with it.
Well thats me done i'll try and wrote another one tomorrow
blessed be .....
No comments:
Post a Comment